Our Beginning
I’ve thought a lot about how to start our story. It technically began in the 7th grade when my brother dared me to tease Garret (a stranger at this point in time) by calling him “Garebear.”
I could say it began when we first started hanging out. Well, we weren’t really hanging out. We were just tagging along with our older brothers who happen to be friends. We mostly just laughed at their quips and blushed when those quips were directed at us (“Garret, when are you going to man up and date my little sister?”).
I could say it began when we had our first real conversation as friends when we stayed up until 2 am talking in Bear Lake (the first time my efforts to chat and maybe flirt a little hadn’t been received by a weird stare, soft chuckle, or short response. Garret’s a reserved guy and I’m a weirdo, so let’s give Gare the benefit of the doubt here).
I could say it began on our first date and I had already begun falling for him. Because when we hit a bump on the road and I spilled hot chocolate on my lap, he was more worried about me than the car. (I feel like I need to add here that Garret didn’t “man up and date my little sister” but it was me who asked him out. Sometimes, you’ve just got to take the lead, ladies!).
I could say it began when we had our first kiss, but Gare was so distant the next week, that I had convinced myself that it didn’t really happen. (I mean, he was seriously out of my league back then. Some would say even now, he still is. It’s me. I’m “some”).
I could say it began when things ended when we temporarily broke up our senior year, because people had us questioning, “How do we know it’s true love? We’re so young.” The end ended up being the start of a stronger relationship, sans outside voices trying to push us a part.
I could say it really began as we wrote to each other while out on separate religious missions for the Church of Jesus Christ. We both had spiritual experiences that confirmed we were meant for each other.
I could say it began when our marriage began, just three short months after returning home from my mission. (I had written a letter at the end of Garret’s mission telling him I wanted to get married in June. But by the time I got home in February, June seemed like forever away, so we were married in May).
But truth be told, I’m not really sure where it began. There were so many small moments that built on each other until, before we knew it, our story was so intertwined we couldn’t really tell where one part began and another ended; like leaves on a forest floor.
I may not know when our story became “Our Story,” but I do know that I’ve been in love with Garret since the moment he stepped into my house our Sophomore year of high school and that I’ve never stopped chasing him.
And do you know what else I know? That the beginning isn’t even that important. What’s more important is where we are going together and the life we are building. My mom loves the quote, “Love isn’t two people looking at each other. Love is two people looking in the same direction together.”
I love this life we are building. Our story isn’t traditional (I say as I write this in my Mormor’s (grandma’s) basement), and there has been a lot of heartache. But our overarching feeling is joy and gratitude, because we have each other to weather life’s storms. And that’s better than any story I could write about our beginning.
Plus, you’re likely here to read about our journey dealing with infertility, and may not care about the juicy details of our past. I’m exited to write about this experience.
Even if our story only helps one, this “destructive force” can be used for a “constructive end.” And we are ready to build.
We'd love to hear your story of struggle and how you found hope when it seemed all hope was lost. #HopeDay
"Hope" is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson
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